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17: Tom Antion on Respect & Becoming an Internet Millionaire

By September 26, 2018 No Comments
Discover how Tom built a multi-millionaire dollar business with a one-sentence mission stated based in RESPECT as he shares with host, Mike Domitrz.

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BIO of Tom Antion:

Tom Antion is an Internet multimillionaire and lifelong entrepreneur who has built his business on treating people right. He’s got a one sentence “respect filled” business plan he’s lived by for 44 years.


Links to Tom Antion:
Hollywood Documentary About Tom’s Life:


Books Tom Recommends:


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**IMPORTANT: This podcast episode was transcribed by a 3rd party service and so errors can occur throughout the following pages:

Mike:                       Welcome to The RESPECT Podcast. I’m your host Mike Domitrz from Mike Speaks dot com where we help organizations of all sizes, educational institutions, and the US military create a culture of respect. Respect is exactly what we discuss on this show so let’s get started.

Mike:                       Welcome to this episode. I want to get right into it with our guest here Tom Antion. I’ve known Tom for now almost two decades. He’s an internet multimillionaire and lifelong entrepreneur who has built his business on treating people right. He’s got a one sentence respect-filled business plan he’s lived by for 44 years. Tom, thank you so much for joining us.

Tom:                         Mike, it’s been a long … Too long, man.

Mike:                       It has been too long. Let’s start there. What have you been up to in the last 16 years since we originally met at the NSA … Actually the very first time was the NSA [inaudible 00:00:52] event.

Tom:                         Yeah. Even before that the last 24 years I got on the commercial internet when the commercial internet started around 1994. I’ve been selling like crazy on the internet. No spamming, no porn, but all kinds of products and services. Part of what I wanted to talk to you about today was a topic called excellence.

Tom:                         I didn’t know anything about the internet. Nobody did back in 1994. When we started learning about it it led me to a lot of other things. We can get into it later but the topic of excellence is really ingrained in me by my dad as do everything you can to the greatest of your ability. That’s respect for yourself and it’s projecting respect to people around you.

Mike:                       Let’s get right into that then because when a lot of people think, “Oh, I made a lot of money on the internet” you were doing it in ways that were common sense but going against the norm. For all of our listeners to get an idea, Tom, while people were trying to say, “Let’s build beautiful amazing websites”, Tom would say, “No, no, no. It could be the ugliest website in the world. If it gets people to my site and it helps them get what they need that’s what’s important.”

Mike:                       You built very content rich, very keyword-loaded sites on things like … You had to once write … This story I’ve never forgotten. You were giving a toast at a wedding and you started looking up, “Hey, where do I find toasts?” You thought, “Hey, people are constantly looking for this.” You sold an ebook on toasts for weddings that did very, very well by just helping people find it and get what they needed.

Tom:                         $72,000 a year for nine years straight. Selling [inaudible 00:02:36]

Mike:                       Right. That’s just amazing.

Tom:                         I also had one, I don’t know if you know about it, called Instant Eulogy. People were also desperate at the last minute. They’re distraught. I helped them … That was $42,000 a year for nine years straight helping people with eulogies. It’s all based around helping people. That’s what we all do is help people and there’s a value to that.

Mike:                       I’m glad you brought that up. I think a lot of times people think of internet sales, internet marketing. They have this negative stereotype that often as a company such industries as used car sales or that there’s this ambulance chasing lawyer concept, that they’re manipulating people to buy versus serving people, being present to what people need, and providing that too them, which is exactly what the eulogy situation was, exactly what the best man speech was. It was saying, “Hey, here’s a need that somebody is not filling.”

Tom:                         Well, yeah. I will say that there is a respect involved in manipulating people. Think about that. Again, I’m always going to go the other direction, right? I know … In fact, you talked about scams. I started a … There’s a TV show in development in Hollywood called Scam Brigade. It’s me going after bad people. The industry is fraught with it.

Tom:                         If I know that I’m going to take care of you as a customer and keep you from being robbed by other people I want to get you to buy my stuff because not only do I believe that it’s going to help you, I know that I’m going to keep you away from getting robbed by unscrupulous people. There’s a respect in there from my point of view. I call it manipulation but I’m manipulating you for your own good. That’s the thing.

Mike:                       Yeah. Let’s discuss that, Tom. Are you manipulating or are you helping people find what they need? Why are you comfortable with the word … Some people would argue. Why are you comfortable with the word manipulation?

Tom:                         I’m comfortable because when you come from a position of goodness where you know you’re in the other person’s field, you’ve got a fiduciary relationship to take care of that person, I don’t care what you call it really. I just know that if you go with me I’m going to take care of you. I’m going to make sure you get great value. This is my one sentence business plan I was telling you about.

Tom:                         I’ve lived this way since I was 10 years old. If every business on Earth would live by this one sentence instead of spending $100,000 to develop a mission statement, this one sentence will do it. I create quality products that somebody actually wants at a reasonable price and I service them after the sale.

Tom:                         Every piece of that is respect for the customer but it can make you a lot of money. There’s no sin in that as long as you’re given that great value, showing respect, not fleecing the people because they don’t know any better, which is very common nowadays. I don’t really care what you call it. I want you to do … Anybody out there, not just me. If you really believe …

Tom:                         Like you, the work you do with the DATE Project and all that stuff. You know you’re going to keep people from getting out and getting in trouble, right? You believed that for most of the time I ever knew you, right?

Mike:                       Right.

Tom:                         You better darn well get people to go through your program to keep them … Yours has bigger ramifications than mine does. Mine you might have trouble making a car payment if you don’t do it but you there could be lifelong ramifications or not have a life if they don’t do what you say. If you manipulate somebody to get somebody to listen to you, I’m cool with it. Totally cool with it.

Mike:                       I love this language. I think it’s very fascinating. Would somebody say there’s a difference in influence and manipulation? In other words, manipulation is getting you to do something you wouldn’t otherwise do?

Tom:                         It has a negative connotation.

Mike:                       It does, right? It has a very negative connotation. That you’re getting somebody to do something that they wouldn’t do but as I say that I recognize that’s not negative. To get somebody to do something they wouldn’t normally do is not negative. It could be incredibly powerful.

Mike:                       Maybe the difference here is that somebody is listening here and thinking, “Wait, wait, wait. You’re describing education versus manipulation.” Manipulation has a sense that it’s only about what the seller wants, not about what’s good for the buyer maybe, right?

Mike:                       That if we’re educating and that inspires people to take action they would not normally take that’s different than manipulation, which means it’s all about me getting you to do what I want you to do. Maybe that’s the difference there?

Tom:                         It’s just semantics to me. As long as I’m coming from a good place and I can help you be in a better place you could call it whatever you want. I don’t really care.

Mike:                       Well, I love that about you, Tom. You’ve always had that approach of, “I’m not worried what people say about me. I’m not worried what people care about me.” In that, if I know that I’m doing the right thing that’s what matters in the end. You describe that in your one sentence mission statement that you’ve always had.

Mike:                       You mentioned there briefly that there’s this documentary that you’re working on. I think there’s two elements here, right? There’s a show that you’re working on about busting scams. I know of one that you worked on busting years ago. Then there’s also a documentary about your life.

Tom:                         Yeah. That is something where … Do you remember Dottie Walters?

Mike:                       Yes.

Tom:                         Dottie Walters got me started in speaking in 1991. A bizarre story about how I got hooked up with her. I ended up being her right coast son because I would help her every time she would do her Speak and Grow Rich seminars on the East Coast. I would just go for free and help just to be involved and learn.

Tom:                         I ended up speaking at her memorial service in California when she passed. A producer/director saw me and was introduced to me and it was, “Hello. How are you?” It was a solemn occasion. That was the last I thought of it.

Tom:                         Then a couple years later she had been following me and she approached me. She has done 38 documentaries. She approached me about doing one. I thought, “Man, I thought you had to be dead to have a documentary done about you. They must be lowering their standards or something. I don’t know.”

Tom:                         She said, “I’d like to do a documentary about the American entrepreneur. From what I’ve seen you’re the man.” I said, “Wow. What an honor.” It’s been three or four years in the making. It’s going to premiere probably in the fall. The trailer is out now. It’s beautiful. At Facebook dot com … Well, maybe you can put it in the show notes or something.

Mike:                       Yeah. We’ll put it in the show notes. Absolutely.

Tom:                         The trailer. Yeah. It’s me and it’s a celebration of the American entrepreneur, the American spirit. I just happen to be the figurehead but there’s just you and there’s thousands of people out there that could be the subject of this. It was a great honor to be featured in that.

Mike:                       That’s very cool. Now the show you’re working on busting scams. If somebody said, “Wait a second. You just said that if I’m getting you to do something I want you to do, you call it manipulation [inaudible 00:09:52] What’s the difference in that and a scam?”

Tom:                         Well, the difference in that is that the person that is the scammer is manipulating you for the purpose of robbing you in some fashion. That’s a whole different … I mean, that’s diametrically opposed to what I’m talking about with protecting people.

Mike:                       Right.

Tom:                         That’s the whole thing is taking advantage of people. I mean, I think we’ve worked the figures up. 120,000 people, elderly people, last year lost their homes from the Jamaican lottery scam. They thought they were taking advantage of. They thought they won the lottery. They have to send the tax money in advance and, boom, there’s no lottery and they couldn’t make their house payment.

Tom:                         A lot of younger people … The reason I’m having a little trouble getting the show sold is because it’s not in the demographic … The elderly people are not in the demographic that TV likes. I try to explain to them, “Look, the young people are going to lose their inheritance if they don’t teach and pay attention to their elders being taken with scams.” They kind of got that. They told me for sure, don’t quit your day job, because it’s Hollywood, right?

Mike:                       Right. Right. They’re selling to a certain audience.

Tom:                         Yeah. Yeah.

Mike:                       We talked about this just a moment ago. You believe in excellence in everything you do, whether it’s the documentary or a TV show. How do you feel that excellence and respect do go hand in hand? In my heart, I think, “Well, of course they go hand in hand because excellence requires you to respect your self and your mission and what you’re doing.”

Tom:                         Well, excellence it also has hidden benefits. For instance, when I got started in speaking 1991, I had come out of a crazy entertainment company. I’ve had a lot of fun businesses in my life. A lot of people said, “Hey, you’re better than a lot of people that have been charging $4000 and $5000.” I said, “Well, I don’t know anything about hotels …” I was doing parties, birthday parties and stuff. I said, “I better study and learn how to be a speaker in hotel rooms and …”

PART 1 OF 3 ENDS [00:12:04]

Tom:                         I better study and learn how to be a speaker, and hotel rooms, and corporations, and all that stuff. So I started studying like crazy and my library in here, I have probably 200 books on public speaking, every tape that was ever made, everything from NSA. I’ve got all of it. And so I started doing it just to make myself better and so that I could really compete in the speaking world. And, where excellence comes in, and this is what my dad taught me, he said when you’re excellent people will notice. And so again I’m not trying to blow my horn but I got so good people started begging me to teach them how to be good, as a good speaker. And that led me to write the Wake ’em Up speaking book, the Wake ’em Up video professional speaking system, amazing public speaking took me a whole different route.

Tom:                         Fast forward to 1994 when the commercial internet came along and I said, “Oh are you kidding me? It’s hard enough to sell my stuff across the street let alone around the world from my desktop. I’m going to figure this out.” So I started studying like crazy, didn’t make a nickel for the first two years. Got good at it. Got some good training in ’96. Four years later I was a multimillionaire and people were begging me to teach them this stuff, again trying to be excellent for me and respect me and what I can do for the world, showed other people that hey this guy is good. So it led me into this internet training path. I never planned on being Mr. Internet Guru, ever. I just wanted to sell my stuff around the world.

Tom:                         So all of this is trying to be excellent for yourself shows such a massive respect for yourself and for the medium that you’re learning, other people get inspired by that and so I believe that’s a form of respect for them.

Mike:                       Well I think there’s also a respect in there that you were going to learn everything you could to be successful and then you sold people how to do that because you did it.

Tom:                         Exactly. I wasn’t selling a book report.

Mike:                       Because for instance in the speaking industry there can be people who are barely speaking charging people a lot of money on how to be a professional speaker and that’s not common but it happens and people need to be aware of like, “Whoa whoa whoa, you need to be watching who you’re learning from there, that might not be the best resource.” Where you were saying, “No I’m going to ace this myself, and then teach others how I aced it.”

Tom:                         Without even thoughts of teaching people. I want to do it extremely well because my dad, and I remember my dad I’m 10 years old he came from Syria back in the early 1900s he put the first electric light bulb in Carnage Pennsylvania, he had his own electrical contracting company at 13 years old at Carnage Pennsylvania. And I was, remember watching him one day, he was wiring a box and I said, “Dad why don’t you just cut the wires across on an angle, save some wire.” He looked at me like I’ll smack you. He said, “You crazy? I’m going to make it perfectly lined up so that somebody looks at this job they’ll know a professional did it.” Boy do I, I’m getting goosebumps, good pimples, I remember it vividly. He said, “And also if somebody has to work on this later, it will be easy for them to work on. So don’t you ever do something that’s not great.”

Tom:                         We were blue collar, total blue collar. But I’ll never forget that and that’s the way I’ve lived my whole life.

Mike:                       I love that, that you for sharing that. How do you think, or what’s way to make sure you’re living with respect in that everyday life. That’s a great way in work, make sure everything I do is with excellence.

Tom:                         Well to me, is that along the topic of respect, you will never see me at a restaurant being all snooty with my black Amex card and giving the waiter or waitress some kind of, or treating them like they’re dirt. You will never see that. In fact if you were sitting there with me and doing it, I’ll leave and hell with you, because you’re not the person I want to be around. That person is doing a good work and doing whatever they’re life is and trying to take care of me and give me respect there’s no way I’m going to lord over them. So that’s just an every day example of treat everybody with respect.

Tom:                         There’s another one. There’s a student I have, I was speaking at a big event, nobody would talk to this guy. He was dressed like some kind of halfway hippy, halfway Indian, feathers hanging off, he had no teeth. I don’t know. And nobody would talk to him. And I’m standing by there and he just started asking me questions and I’m happy to talk to him. He ended up being one of my best customers. He’s a best selling author on some off beat topic and nobody would talk to him because he looked funny. So, that’s not the way to treat people.

Tom:                         I mean I’m very fortunate, you’re fortunate, and everybody deserves respect. You know what, even people, rotten people deserve respect. I remember, I’ve been a lifelong self defense and martial arts practitioner, and I remember studying with an Aikido guy back way, way years ago, and this is one of these guys that had to go to Japan for two years to hold a bow. And he had to pull the bow for two years before they let him have an arrow. That’s serious stuff. And he was teaching me this thing called an S-Lock one time and it’s like, you could really put a hurt on somebody. And he says Tom you hold it like this and then you bow to the person, show respect to your enemy. Of course they’re screaming bloody murder and that stuck with me too. Even your enemies. You can respect, you can’t let them take advantage of you but you have to respect them.

Mike:                       Yeah we talk about this in the US Military …

Tom:                         Were you in the military?

Mike:                       No I didn’t serve in the military but I work with the military. I’m working with the military. The Geneva Convention clearly states that if you run across the enemy and they are in dire need of help and you are safely able to help them, it’s your responsibility to help them because all human beings are to be treated with dignity and respect and a big reason for that is prisoner’s of war, if ours are captured they are treated with dignity and respect, which means we have to treat others with dignity and respect.

Mike:                       So whenever somebody comes to me and goes well not all people deserve dignity and respect, well yeah they all do. The moment you think they all don’t, means you think you’re above certain people. That’s not living from a space of respect that’s living from a place of arrogance, there’s a difference.

Mike:                       And you’ve talked about in fact, when somebody pushes your limits of respect, what do you mean by that? What do you mean by when somebody pushes your limits of respect?

Tom:                         Well, when you come from a place of power and respect for others you can recognize very easily when somebody doesn’t have that attitude, right. And so without, and it all comes from probably my self defense and martial arts study in that … Well there’s a guy I can’t think of his name right now but he has a program called You’re Dead and You Don’t Even Know It, and somebody is getting in his face and he is thinking of the 100 different ways he can just tear this guy to pieces and I have the same kind of skill, not at good as this guy, but …

Tom:                         And so when you have the kind of feeling, that I could do this to you but I, there’s something in your system that doesn’t deserve it, something happened to you to make you like this and as long as you don’t cross the line I’m going to treat you with respect and treat you with, I don’t want to say disdain I don’t know the word for it, but I’m going to feel sorry for you rather than get all up and say, “Let’s go buddy.” That’s what weak people do.

Tom:                         So coming from that power, you could say they didn’t reserve it, deserve it at that moment for what they were doing but as long as they don’t cross the line and hurt somebody that’s innocent or cross the line to cause me harm there’s no reason for me to escalate it. I’m going to deescalate it and I’ll walk away. If people are saying, “Oh you big sissy,” well I saved that guy’s life pretty much so I’ll live with that.

Mike:                       Yeah it’s describing really leading with compassion and empathy over bullying or domination. Right? Because you have the ability to dominate in that moment but you decide wait there’s got to be a reason this person is coming from this place. Something has triggered this behavior, somewhere. And that’s so important because I run into people traveling the world doing this work and who’ll say well you know you can’t just do that for everyone and you have … This one person I met they’re so bad, yeah but how do you get there?

Tom:                         Yeah exactly. I had good parents, I had you know a shirt on my back, food, you know, and some of these people I mean I did some fundraisers for these, I did a fundraiser, I raised a whole load of money for a bunch of homeless kids, homeless is considered you have a different place to live or no place to live every 30 days, for kids. I didn’t have that. So when those kids grow up there’s going to be some scars and it’s going to come out in certain ways and so I just have to think man I had it good as long as they don’t hurt me or hurt somebody innocent I got to say wonder, how they got there. What happened to them to make that happen.

Mike:                       Yeah and I think that’s so brilliant to recognize, I had it so good. And I think what happens is when you’re in a position of, and that’s the reference to privilege, where those kids didn’t get control over that. We also didn’t get Control, those of us who feel we were raised in a stable home with wonderful loving parents. We didn’t get to chose that, that’s what we were born into. They didn’t get to chose their situation. And we’re going to have different negatives out of our loving home. There are negatives that we’re going to miss out, we’re not going to see things that others, somebody would have saw coming from a different home. There’s going to be pluses and minuses to that and to say, “Well I made it okay,” well yeah but you made it under very different circumstances than that person made it. So I think it’s so brilliant that you brought that up. For you, when you hear the word respect what does it mean?

Tom:                         Well it’s ingrained so much in me in that I’m not going to dominate the conversation, I mean just, I like that I’m a pretty simple guy, bring things down to just the, like I said I came from the sticks and a handshake meant something. So if I’m at a party, even though I’m Mr. Big Shot Speaker and I’m known everywhere I’m not going to stand there and talk about myself. I want to know about you. I want to show respect to you by bringing out you and what you’ve been doing and honestly not looking over your shoulder to, who’s more important than you. That’s a simple every day, I like to bring the every day things, how you can show respect and that would be a show up respect is ask the other person what they’ve been doing. And you can learn something from doing that. So, to me it’s more of the every day little things.

Tom:                         In fact when people ask me what religion I am, I really confuse them. I say, “I’m Poseidon.” Poseidon? They’re looking at their friends like, “What I’ve never heard of that, that must be some cult or something.” I say, no back in the old days there was a move called the Poseidon Adventure, they have a remake lately but the originally was Gene Hackman and Shelly Winters on this ship that was kind of like the Titanic …

Mike:                       I remember it.

Tom:                         Alright, well Gene Hackman, I was much younger then, I don’t remember what year it was, but he was on stage, excuse me, on deck, doing a sermon and he said, “You take the little piece of God in you and do good for people,” And that was like a sledgehammer to my head. I’m thinking you cannot go too far wrong with that attitude in life. And from that moment on that’s

PART 2 OF 3 ENDS [00:24:04]

Tom:                         With that attitude in life and from that moment on, that’s been in my mind. That’s my religion, that’s my spiritual guide, is take the little piece of God in you, do good for people. I don’t go to church every Sunday, I’ll admit that. You’d have to get maybe a lightning rod if I got near it, but take the little piece of God so that’s respect for doing good things. If you have the attitude, I’m going to try to do good for you before I do good for me. That’s another thing my dad taught me, give before you get. So all of these little things are everyday things that I live and I’m attracted to people that live like that because it shows respect all the time, not just when it’s convenient.

Mike:                       Is there a time in your life where you can you remember, where you failed to give yourself respect and the lesson you got out of that experience?

Tom:                         Yeah. I think it was the time I went to college on a football scholarship to West Baygon Virginia University and at that time, I mean all the time, from the time it’s midget football till everybody could kill you at that level, that level of athleticism, so I’m working out like crazy. And then when I got out of that, it was like, “Oh, my God, I never want to see a weight room again.” I mean it’s 15 straight years of that, two a day exercise, all that stuff. And so I let my weight. I went up of 360 pounds or something so I don’t think I was paying much respect to myself there and I struggled with that a lot over the years.

Tom:                         I had some trouble with my mother was, my dad was great, my mother not so much. But I got a handle on it now only by finding a certain kind of diet. I’m on a ketogenic diet, which is extremely low carbs, high-fat, which is opposite. Again, look at me, opposite of everything else all the time but it’s the only thing that’s worked so I dropped about 100 pounds and so I got a good handle on that now, but that was a long period of really not respecting the, luckily I got good genes from my dad and a strong foundation of working out for 15 years like a maniac. So I’d say that’s my biggest obvious one.

Mike:                       Well, and I noticed the difference right away when, for those who are listening, Tom and I can see each other because we always do these shows also on YouTube so you can watch that. As soon as I saw you, I noticed. Wow, I said, in my mind I’m like it looks like Tom has lost a lot of weight.

Tom:                         Yeah.

Mike:                       But what I think is beautiful about that is it was a choice you made to respect yourself, to take that journey.

Tom:                         Yeah, it took a long time to do it and that’s the thing about things, folks. All these aren’t always easy. I mean, it might be time when your steak is cold, you want to give that waiter or waitress some guff, but you got to hold back and you got to say, you got to have your own self respect to say, no, I’m not going to make a fool of myself and embarrass that person over a steak that I probably ate too much already. So the delayed gratification, our friend that put us together recently, Caroline De Pasada, you knew her dad, right?

Mike:                       Absolutely.

Tom:                         Yeah. He’s the one that made that famous, that marshmallow study about delayed gratification. And so for those that don’t know, they showed these little kids some marshmallows and said, “Hey, we’ll give you one if you don’t eat it in 15 minutes, we’ll give you two.” And then most of the kids ate it and some didn’t. And they followed them over a period of years. All the ones that had the delayed gratification we’re successful and everything. And then the other ones were having problems. So I think it’s the same thing with respect. In this case, I had to fight a long time to get that one piece of my life that wasn’t working right to respect myself and had I given up or quit too soon, where would I be? I’d probably be in death row from a heart attack or something or diabetes or who knows. So sometimes it takes longer to realize the respect that you want to give yourself or others.

Mike:                       Well, and I appreciate that because I think when people hear these conversations they think, “Oh, he’s got it all.” Right?

Tom:                         Oh yeah.

Mike:                       Right. That’s the mistake, that because of this level of success, and they have these messages. They’ve lived by of respect. They’ve got it all. What they don’t realize is no matter where we’re coming from, there’s some area we could be better at that we don’t give the same kind of focus, respect of that we do other areas. And so it’s constantly looking at our whole picture and saying, where is that happening now for me? Because it’s happening somewhere, right? There’s so many balls in the air.

Tom:                         And you can always get knocked in the face. In 1988, I was living in a vacant house on a mattress. I don’t want to say like a country music song. My dog got run over or my truck got stolen. But I had my nightclub when I had a nightclub for six years. Then the drinking age went from 18 to 21 in a college town. I was going to be a millionaire before I was 30, wiped out, lost $400000 and I was playing racquetball, tore my achilles tendon and a partner I had had not paid the health insurance. So I’m living in a vacant house on a mattress watching a black and white TV and a lot of your viewers don’t even know what that is. And so I got knocked in the face really good. But that’s when your true colors come through when things don’t go so well, what do you do? Do you get back up, do you fight or do you give up? And so I had enough respect then. And I got all kinds of bizarre stories. I was watching candid camera on TV and you know Juliet Funt,

Mike:                       I remember. Yes.

Tom:                         She’s from NSA. Well, her dad was Allan Fund from candid, and when I was laying there living off credit cards, busted up and had nowhere to go. I was watching candid camera on this black and white TV and that’s when I got the idea for the entertainment company called Prank Masters that I moved to DC and that got worldwide publicity and got me into the speaking business. And then I ran into Juliet. And I’m getting goose pimples again. Ran into the Juliet at NSA and I thought, “Oh my God, I’d never be able to thank her dad.” So I mentored her for a while just to the payback for that idea, that little spark that somebody else gave me because I was able to keep my eyes open in the face of adversity. And that’s when your true colors show through. And that’s sometimes the hardest part.

Mike:                       I love it. And you have two books that you really recommend one is The influence the psychology of persuasion by Robert Cialdini. And then-

Tom:                         It’s pronounced Cialdini.

Mike:                       Oh, I’ve always pronounced that wrong then. So I appreciate that. Yeah. And the other book is Last conscious by Alain Buris.

Tom:                         Yeah. Buris.

Mike:                       Buris there we go thank you.

Tom:                         That’s a man by the way, because it’s spelled A-L-A-I-N and I thought it was the girl for years until I met him. It’s a guy. It’s a French spelling, but the influence of psychology persuasion is when we began this conversation with about manipulation and persuasion kind of going hand in hand. One’s negative connotation one isn’t but that is, I’ve read that book seven times because that is the way you can really get your products and services out there and get people to buy them. But again, because you know you’re going to take care of them and help them.

Tom:                         The other one is completely opposite the other end. You better not be faint at heart if you read it. It’s a book about a friend of mine and it’s a book about a sniper from the army who decided to go after pedophiles, so it’s a whole different thing, but again, it was that pedophile who knows where he came from, but there came a point when you had the draw the line and couldn’t let him hurt children anymore. So even though you have to have some respect, some people cross that line and have to be stopped. So it’s a completely different ends of the spectrum.

Mike:                       Yeah. And to stop someone from doing harm is not failing to respect to them.

Tom:                         Right.

Mike:                       In fact, you would argue the opposite-

Tom:                         You’re respecting everybody else that-

Mike:                       And them by saying you can’t do this, this is not acceptable, out of respect I’m going to take action now. Yeah. And so I want to thank you, Tom. This has been. We’ve gone all over, which I love and explored different areas. So thank you so much for joining us today. And for our listeners who want to make sure they can dive into this conversation so they can go to Facebook, look up The Respect podcast, discussion group and dive into this conversation. So thank you very much Tom for joining us.

Tom:                         My pleasure. Good to see you again.

Mike:                       Thank you for joining us for this episode of The Respect podcast, which was sponsored by The Date Safe project @datesafeproject.Org. And remember you can always find me at

PART 3 OF 3 ENDS [00:33:03]


Mike Domitrz, CSP

Mike Domitrz, CSP

Speaker, Author, and Authority on Respect Culture For almost 3 decades, leading institutions around the world and the US Military have been turning to Mike for helping them transform their culture. To have Mike help your organization ignite this vital and necessary conversation, call 833-801-0247 or email

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